Envious or Just Hating? Comment

So, sitting here watching "are you smarter than a 5th grader" on a Friday night (because I have nothing to do & its cold as hell outside). Lol. But enough about that. Being single and I'm headed home I started thinking about what I would be doing with my cousins. Then I started thinking of their lifestyles.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family & would fight for them to the end, but I must admit I'm a little worried by my thoughts.
So as you know, whenever something happens in the family, there will be a trail of phone calls letting everyone know what "done happen".
I look at my cousins lives and immediately think damn! I wish I could be that careless and carefree. Sometoimes, I just don't want responsibility.
I want to pay (at most) $100 for rent for a 3 bedroom. I want to not have to worry about bills. I don't want to work and sit on my ass all day and send my kids off to school and have my entire day to myself just to do nothing.
And almost every time I come home, they always keep a man! Lol! Sorry men. And they're always getting "paper" and not having to pay bills.
I'm like damn!
Sometimes I wish, I had no morals and just don't give a damn! I don't want responsibility and I can't relly on pure ignorance as my excuse because I'm "educated" & I "should know better". Sometimes I'm like "damn me for wanting better" lol!
So am I envious or just hating?
I would say, I am a little envious that I can't pay $100 for rent. I'm envious that I can't sit on my ass and do nothing all day!
I am a little envious that I don't have a guy to pay my bills.

Here's my take on it. I love them for being them and I love them because they're family and I wish them the best.
But I'm single by choice! Lol. Nope I wouldn't trade my life or current situation. For nothing.

I look @ all the things that some women go through for those $100 for rent. Wow! When I hear stories I laugh & they do but I think they want to cry. They're dependent on these men & when you see them, I'm rolling on the floor. Can you say WTF!
Not exactly what I would bring home to mama, but they do.
Yup I can't wait to go home and cry from laughter.

Also, since its the holidays I have to put up with all the questions from "the elders" of the family. "When are you getting married, where's your man, when are you going to have children", and
this one gets me every time "do you like men" lol. The answer is yes, I love men. I just rather have myself established first before I enter into a relationship. So now I'm going home I hope I don't get into my "envious/hating" mode lol!
Tell me what you think.